Thursday, September 6, 2007

Mother knows best?!?

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Its me sweeties, your mother. Run for cover!
Okay, only kidding!
I really thought I was Supermom and things were going really smoothly this week and then ZAMZAM! My son has almost been seriously injured 3 times in the past three days (well, they say things happen in threes...so hopefully this is the last of it!!). H will be 3 in December. He has been teething like silly lately--drooling and fussy. I thought teething would be the worst of my problems, but as stated earlier--WRONG. So very wrong.
Here is accident waiting to happen #1. We went to visit my MIL/FIL's on Monday. They had a birthday party for my husband's sister (aka Godzilla...okay, only kidding!) and her daughter. We were having fun laughing at H throwing underwear G got for her bday while he was yelling, "Undaweeeaaarrrr!" He goes into the kitchen where we often find him playing with chunky fridge magnets (too big to swallow). I tell him to come back into the living room. Oh, he does. With a knife in his hand!!! WTH? My MIL had left a sharp, steak knife on the kitchen counter!!! I calmly took it away from him because I knew if I yelled he would throw it or something and it might stab someone (G?). We ran to our car immediately after said incident.
Accident waiting to happen #2: Last night H was up at 3am (remember he's teething). My ped makes us feel bad if we think about giving him any teething relief other than Orajel because she says its all a narcotic...at least I think that is what she said because all I heard was "blah blah bad mom blah." Oh yes, I digress. He was up at 3am playing in his room with his trains. I left his room for like 1/2 a second to get him some ice water. I hear CLUNK! and then the dreaded cry...you know the one where you can tell it knocked the breath out of your child and it sends you racing faster than if Britney Spears was chasing you because you had the last bag of Cheetos. My mom always said to blow soft air on his face if he had trouble catching his breath. So I did and it worked. Then he bawled like crazy. I examined him and could not find a single thing wrong. I went to his room and saw a clunky stoooopid pound a ball toy had fallen on him. It was not even on a high shelf. It was on top of a plastic tub! So my kid crawled up to the tub or was on the floor and this thing fell on him. He said he hit his head, no--mouth. Oh wait, maybe his foot...he could not decide. The toy ended up in the trash (probably has lead paint anyway!!).
And #3...today I was buying felt at Hobby Lobby (a craft store). So I had a basketful of stuff I would regret buying once I got in the car. We start walking toward the exit. He is actually holding my hand and not running around or making silly faces at elderly people or demanding overpriced moldy candy (you know they never "move" that stuff). This was the worst of all...he turned to say something to me and turned around quickly and walked into...a glass corner. Umm...why do they have shelves with glass corners?!?!? At toddler level?!?!? My husband screamed, "OMG! He punctured himself!!(he did not.)" And my basket of felt went flying. He only had a small scratch. Not even much of a scratch but a scrape...okay, a crape.
So this is why I am consumed with massive guilt. This is why I found yet another grey hair on my head tonight (not even 30 yet!). This is why my son got Thomas the train tattoo, a Sir Topham Hatt, and a McDonald's dinner. This is why he is going to a kid's museum tomorrow. This is why I am considering having my son surgically grafted to my body. This is why...I am losing my mind.